Miracle Mondays – A Heartbeat

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We heard the heartbeat of our second child for the first time while Theo was still on life support.

When we first found out we were pregnant again, we were ecstatic. Our family of three was soon becoming a family of four and our life felt incredibly blessed and perfectly complete. I excitedly envisioned some of the moments that would construct our new future:  Theo meeting his new brother or sister for the first time, teaching them how to crawl or throw the ball for Ruby to fetch; the two of them outside with Dad skating on the backyard rink.

Now, our new future is unfolding and adapting day by day, moment by moment. There have been times over the last two months that this pregnancy has unjustly fallen into the shadows of our life’s current chaos and I struggle with the new unknowns that it presents. How will I devote enough of my time and energy to Theo when the needs of a newborn are just as great? Will this child even meet their older brother? If we had not already been pregnant, would we have been ready for another baby?

But as I feel the stirring of new life inside me, I am grounded by the love I have for this baby and am reminded that the unknowns are irrelevant. Life will unfold for us as it will, and the one certainty I have is that our family’s new future will be defined by love and strength.

I humbly and gratefully view this pregnancy for the miracle it is and for the hope and joy it will provide us.

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8 comments

  1. Ashlee, I have been following your posts since the beginning. I just want you to know that I am so inspired by your strength and I can only pray to someday become as strong. God Bless you and may He continue to give you strength. Congratulations on your second little blessing!

  2. We’ve never met but a friend from church told me about Theo a few weeks ago and I have been praying for him and you all ever since. May God’s strength continue to carry you and may His healing hand rest on your precious little boy.

  3. Congratulations to my dearest cousin Mark, beautiful wife Ashlee and the cutest little fighter Theo!!! With heavy heart, I pray and think about you all each day. March break includes Hugs and Kisses to Theo from Nene. Be seeing you all very soon. Xoxo

  4. “Life will unfold for us as it will…” YES!! And you will navigate it bravely and sometimes not-so-bravely but you will walk this path nonetheless. Congratulations on this pregnancy and the hope it represents for the future.

  5. Congratulations on all the new milestones of recovery for Theo and your new addition to come soon!
    I recently found out through Managers at LSG the situation you and your family have been encountering, and Kayla was kind enough to show me your blog site here. i’m Trista Naveau IBA Coordinator, who has been on and off maternity leave since 2010, about to have a 3rd child, due date may 19, which gives us 3 children under 3 and we are absolutely undeniably a happy and blessed about it all.

    I recall the last time I bumped in to you at the Timmins square and we were each showing each other our new 5 month old additions to our family’s that were born days apart and catching up with whats been new in our lives since we last saw each other. It was so nice to see you and little Theo and I look forward to bumping into you guys again soon. 🙂

    Having just read your blogs here with my office door closed and a box of tissues and hormones as I read word for word your feelings, experiences and everything you and Mark and Theo have been facing and your correct that no parent, child, or family should have to go through what you all have been going through but things happen. Everyone keeps asking me whether I hope for a girl or a boy but it truly does not matter, all we hope for is a healthy child. I can only imagine what its been like for you all but my heart is with you Ashlee! I know my family is blessed and a gift each day but who doesn’t get caught up in the rest of our life’s stresses and such, it’s normal. Learning about your experiences has me wanting to go home and cherish all that we have so much more….

    I have never been a strong practicer of any religion all though I am an Anglican and an Ojibwa First Nation woman. I will smudge and pray to the creator for the health and recovery of your family and hope along side with you that Theo can continue to defy the doctors possibilities of returning back to a normal life.

    I don’t have too many words of encouragement for you except this: I hear how helpless a feeling it has been for you to watch your little one go through what he’s been going through thinking there is nothing you can do, but I know you have been a big part of his recovery! Just him hearing your voice and knowing your there by his side non stop has probably had the biggest impact on his healing!

    I know there are studies to back this up out there. I remember reading one recently on a study done where premature babies and learning independence of starting to breast feed happened quicker to babies whos mothers spoke or sang or shooshed to soothe baby than those whos mothers didn’t. I truly believe that Theo has been able to overcome a lot of what hes been experiencing because of your constant being there for him and calming him.

    You and Mark are doing a lot more for your son than you realize! Keep it up and I will pray for you and your family of 4 🙂

    Your Truly,

    Trista

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