We heard the heartbeat of our second child for the first time while Theo was still on life support.
When we first found out we were pregnant again, we were ecstatic. Our family of three was soon becoming a family of four and our life felt incredibly blessed and perfectly complete. I excitedly envisioned some of the moments that would construct our new future: Theo meeting his new brother or sister for the first time, teaching them how to crawl or throw the ball for Ruby to fetch; the two of them outside with Dad skating on the backyard rink.
Now, our new future is unfolding and adapting day by day, moment by moment. There have been times over the last two months that this pregnancy has unjustly fallen into the shadows of our life’s current chaos and I struggle with the new unknowns that it presents. How will I devote enough of my time and energy to Theo when the needs of a newborn are just as great? Will this child even meet their older brother? If we had not already been pregnant, would we have been ready for another baby?
But as I feel the stirring of new life inside me, I am grounded by the love I have for this baby and am reminded that the unknowns are irrelevant. Life will unfold for us as it will, and the one certainty I have is that our family’s new future will be defined by love and strength.
I humbly and gratefully view this pregnancy for the miracle it is and for the hope and joy it will provide us.